March 29, 2004

Frankly, I'm Appa(u)lled

In a 3-hour special, airing April the 5th on ABC, hotshot investigative reporter Peter Jennings will shock America as he blows the cover on... Jesus. "Jesus and Paul: The Word and the Witness" will examine the lives of the KRS-One and Scott LaRock of Christianity.

Among the experts interviewed on the subject is Biblical scholar Ben Witherington, who points out: "The idea of a crucified god really did not make sense in the first century . . . It's not a message you make up if you're going to start a religion in the first century A.D." Nowadays, of course (you know, with the Enlightenment and all), we've realized that the idea of a crucified god makes perfect sense, and anyone who wishes to start a modern religion could do nothing better than to claim godliness and crucify oneself (I'm looking at you, Caviezel).

After you're dead, though, you really need a partner who can travel the world telling everyone what a great guy you are for having been strung up on a crucifix. For Jesus, that man was Paul, as ABC's special explains:

"The letters Paul wrote as he traveled the Roman Empire formed the basis of the religion that today we call Christianity.

Ironically, Paul 'never anticipates that 20th century Americans are going to be his audience,' historian Pamela Eisenbaum told Jennings."

...Mostly, I would imagine, because America didn't exist at the time and if it had, Paul probably would have figured that any country so self-centred and conceited as to delude themselves into thinking that thousands of years of religious tradition exist solely for their benefit, wouldn't make it for another two thousand years.

My, there's been a bit of a religious theme to my last couple of entries, hasn't there? I promise that the next thing I write about will be entirely secular.


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