April 05, 2004

Benefits of Living By Yourself, No. 485

I've become quite enamoured with listening to my iPod while I do dishes. It turns it into less of a chore, and more of an attack of dance-fever. If any of you are having trouble picturing this (frankly, hilarious) mental image, let me help:

1. Watch TV for long enough to see one of those iPod adverts with the dancing silhouettes (this will take five minutes or so).

2. Instead of a silhouette that looked like it just walked out of a Gap advert, imagine a silhouette of me (a subtle difference, mainly involving smaller hair and more buttons fastened).

3. Instead of holding an iPod, imagine the silhouette holding a sponge.

4. Imagine the silhouette dancing in a way that resembles a stereotypically awkward, grooveless, white guy (for, alas!, I am so). As part of the silhouette's dance moves, flecks of water and soapsuds should periodically become spattered all over its shirt.

5. Every now and then, the silhouette in your head should, in the midst of a particularly ambitious and limb-flailing dance move, curse loudly as it drops a dish.

For the love of God, somebody buy me a dishwasher.

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