September 02, 2004

Come On, Guys! Are We Republicans Or Republican'ts?

I know this a day or two short of being topical, but...

After the now infamous 'Winnergate' incident a few days ago (in which the president said: "I don't think you can win [the war on terrorism]"), Mr Bush backtracked ever so slightly in a speech to veterans in Tennessee:

"Make no mistake about it, we are winning and we will win. We will win by staying on the offensive, we will win by spreading liberty." As an afterthought, Mr Bush then added, "Win win win! Win winny McWinnerson!", giving the biased right-wing media conspirators their choice of juicy soundbites for the evening news.

Meanwhile, the First Lady continued campainging for her husband at a lunch in her honour in New York. Mrs Bush is seen as key to the Republican campaign, as she strikes a much more popular figure than the evil ketchup Nazi Teresa Heinz-Kerry (Karl Rove's words, not mine).

Um, hi-- America? Little bit of a heads-up for you, here: you should vote for a president based on his ability as a president, not on how cute/sympathetic/admirable his wife is. I mean, for God's sake, would you pick a brain surgeon based on his wife's cocktail-party-schmoozing ability? Would you pick a lawyer according to his wife's cup size? So, please, for the good of the country, don't vote for Bush just because Teresa Heinz-Kerry reminds you of Maris Crane.

And, on that note, to lunch.

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