September 30, 2004

Wrestling With the Issues

Those of you awaiting with glee tonight's Presidential debate are in for a disappointment: the most important debate to take place at U Miami's Coral Gables campus happened last night.

Yes, on Wednesday evening, elected officials, students, and, most importantly, WWE superstars gathered at the Florida institution for this year's 'Smackdown the Vote' election debate. Attendees responded to the responses by Presidential candidates to the responses of young people to the questions posed by researchers who responded to the call for research from the Smackdown the Vote campaign-- giving the event the dubious honour of having the most convoluted debate topic, ever.

The Miami Herald reported on the debate:

"[Wrestlers] Foley and Bradshaw expressed their arguments with conviction and made their points in an entertaining, yet educational manner. Wrestling terms were cut to a minimum with the exception of the occasional 'Whoo!' or when Foley referred to Bush's current run as, the 'Suck it' presidency."

After the debate, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon offered his impressions:

"Unlike what you'll have [Thursday] night, this was a real debate with real people . . . Real people who happen to be particularly adept at fake, choreographed wrestling."

McMahon continued: "'We have [George W.] Bush and [John] Kerry. I'm sure they are both honorable individuals . . . It's unfortunate we only have those two to choose from. If we had [WWE Champion John] "Bradshaw" [Layfield] and [WWE Superstar Mick] Foley to choose from as well, America would be a better place."

He really did say that, too.

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