October 17, 2004

Department of the Bleedin' Obvious

From BBC NEWS | Scotland: Stabbings 'a public health issue'

Really? Do you think? I always thought they would fall more under the heading of 'Public nuiscance'.

According to Rudy Crawford, of the Glasgow Royal Infirmary, "People carry all sorts of weapons, some of them quite horrific . . . machetes, bayonets, swords."

(A spokesmatey for the Glasgow Pirates Association rebutted: "Yaarrr! What be wrong with swords?")

Crawford continued: "Swords are actually fairly popular and I think we . . . in Glasgow in particular, probably see more sword injuries than anywhere else in the UK or even Europe for that matter."

Crawford sighed wistfully, then nostalgically recalled the 'good old days' when Glaswegians were all so stoned on Temazepam that they couldn't be arsed getting into fights.

Edit: Gosh, that was an intolerably snobbish Edinbugger comment, wasn't it? I'm terribly sorry.


At 17/10/04 19:33, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't know what Tamezepam was, so i looked it up. Holly crap, is there any thing the Scottish won't inject intervenously?

At 18/10/04 09:44, Blogger Andrew said...

Saline, oddly enough.

At 19/10/04 06:48, Blogger Mariana said...

Swords! I was not warned about swords!

So what's the snobbish Edinburger weapon of choice?

At 19/10/04 09:32, Blogger Andrew said...

Condescending wit and thinly-veiled insults.


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