October 12, 2004


First of all: don't worry, that little Red Sox hat in the title graphic isn't going to be a fixture for long (much, alas, like the Red Sox themselves). Rather, it's just my annual tip of the hat (as it were) to the motley troop of so-called athletes who managed to somehow make me care, however superficially, about America's favourite (but generally pretty dull) pastime.

Actually, I sort of hope the Red Sox don't win the ACLS this year because (as I was explaining to Ken earlier), if they do then clearly the world will be about to end.

Speaking of the world ending, since when does Patrick Stewart stoop so low as to do voiceovers for Goodyear commercials? This is not what I expect from the venerable egghead.

Speaking of eggs (see what I did there?), the Birdcrime 2003 report (published by Britain's Royal Society for the Protection of Birds) reports happily that nest thefts are at an all-time low. You might well ask, why would anybody want to steal a bird's nest? (You might also ask why "bird persecution" gets a front page story on the Beeb's website, but that's one I can't answer.) Well, somebody who might want to steal a bird's nest, obviously enough, is an egg collector-- a group of people about which little information is given other than that they're driven by "obsessive rivalries". I don't know who these people are, but apparently their numbers are dwindling, not least because you can now be imprisoned for stealing birds' nests.

So, in Britain these days, you can be imprisoned for 'bird persecution' in the form of stealing eggs, but may only face a fine for racial persecution in the form of racially aggravated harrasment. Just goes to show who's running things over there, eh?

Finally (speaking of, uh, weird things involving animals), I was given a Tamagotchi as a gag gift, today. After getting over the initial shock of realizing that they still make Tamagotchis, I turned it on and started playing with it.

15:40: Activated Tamagotchi. Egg appeared on screen. Watched egg with rapt fascination, waiting to witness miracle of birth.

15:43: Realized that egg will not hatch until time and date have been set. Set time and date.

15:44: Tamagotchi is born, a girl. Giggled for a moment, then named it 'Fifi'.

16:06: Late for meeting roommate to go grocery shopping.

16:11: Revealed to roommate that there is a Tamagotchi in my pocket. Am called 'mentally retarded'.

16:55: Realized that Tamagotchi had progressed from 'baby' to 'child'. Am overwhelemd with joy; 'mentally retarded' epithet repeated by roommate.

19:22: After uneventful afternoon, dropped Tamagotchi under couch. Fished it out, was relieved to discover that it seemed relatively unharmed.

19:54: Tamagotchi went to bed for the evening. Twiddled thumbs awkwardly, unsure of what to do with time.

22:38: Wrote in blog.


At 14/10/04 05:19, Blogger Mariana said...

I have to say, newspapers here are... selective in their publishing interests.

The second page news in the Scotsman the other day was: old people shocked at profanity in Ladykiller's remake! It was playing in a film festival, alongside the more virtuous original, and the cinema actually refunded tickets to the many senior citizens who walked out. I guess Tom Hanks saying fuck a lot would creep me out too, though.

Remember, don't take your Tamagotchi into the bath with you.

At 14/10/04 20:51, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tom Hanks said fuck? Well, now everyone's doing it but me; guess i am not as well integrated into society as i thought i was. That's it, time for the quite, clammy embrace of thowing myself off a building.


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