November 02, 2004

4:09pm

From Netscape News:

"Long lines greeted voters in many big cities in closely contested states: Fort Lauderdale, Fla., Columbus, Ohio, Detriot and elsewhere. Five locations in Franklin County, Ohio, opened up to a half-hour late because poll workers did not show up on time."

What on earth were they thinking?!?! 'Meh. Maybe it's sort of important that I get to work on time today. I guess.'

"In Essex, Md., an election judge left a polling place briefly, saying he forgot something at home."

Clean underwear, I bet.

Meanwhile, astrologers in India have predicted that the position of Bush's planets shows conclusively that the President cannot win a second term. Kerry's planets, on the other hand, are in ascendance, which is apparently a good sign for him.

Bush has turned the prediction around and used it as an attack against Kerry: "See?! If my opponent is elected commander-in-chief, not only will he delegate control of US affairs to other countries, but to other planets! He's such a hippie!"

Kerry responded by calling the prediction "magical".

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