January 25, 2005

It Burns! It Burns!

Tonight is Burns' Night in Scotland, that time of the year when we Scots ward off winter depression by getting shit-faced and celebrating the work of a dead poet, rather grandiloquently known as 'The Bard'.

Or, as the BBC are reporting today, by getting shit-faced and suddenly thinking it a good idea to splash out £250 (a shade under $500 US) on some whisky-soaked sheep entrails. A trendy Scottish-cuisine restaurant in London (a sentence so full of contradictions, I'm not sure where to begin) will tonight be serving portions of haggis, cooked in some rare, 50-year-old whisky, and donating the proceeds to (as if I even need to tell you) tsunami relief. (Because, you know, some tsunamis really have trouble peeing.)

And if you can't afford to shell out for the extravagant dish, chef John Paul McLachlan will be happy to urinate in your mouth, instead:

"We plan to give every diner a wee taste."

*drum riff*

Burns' Night celebrates the life and work of prolific Scottish writer Robert Burns. Burns' famous works include Tam O' Shanter, Address to a Haggis, and A Red, Red Rose. Burns, of course, is most famous for his recurring role on The Simpsons.


At 28/1/05 10:47, Blogger Mariana said...

I thought the Scottish were supposed to be stingy?!

1 dram = approx. 4 mL
The haggis will be cooked with 4 drams of whisky total.

We did not consume haggis as we said we would, on said night. I'm actually a bit upset about this...

At 28/1/05 12:29, Blogger Andrew said...

Not that I approve of your use of stereotypes (it's Presbyterians that are stingy, and that just happens to the Church of Scotland's denomination)-- but in any case, said haggis was being served in London. And Londoners, as everybody knows, have more money than sense.

At 30/1/05 00:58, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tam O' Shanter? From Star Trek?


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