February 03, 2005

Children, Cover Your Ears

From Netscape News: US General Says It Is 'Fun to Shoot Some People'

At a conference on Tuesday in San Diego, Lt. Gen. James Mattis made the comment that "It's quite fun to fight 'em, you know. It's a hell of a hoot. It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right up front with you, I like brawling."

Well, somebody wants Rumsfeld's job.

Mattis continued (oh, yes, there's more): "You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil."

Also, I hear they all wear towels on their heads, right? Jesus.

"Guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them." Mattis then bit the head off a live mouse and flung the bloody remains at the press corps.

The Commandant of the Marine Corps, Gen. Michael Hagee, has revealed that Mattis will not be disciplined for his remarks, describing the Lt. Gen. as "one of this country's bravest and most experienced military leaders."

Gen. Hagee then snickered quietly to himself for several seconds before continuing.

"I . . . know he intended to reflect the unfortunate and harsh realities of war. You know: harsh realities. Like, the fact that our senior commanders couldn't tell a Muslim from a Jeep, and are happy as pigs in shit about that."

Hagee explained that he had counselled Mattis about his remarks; a Marine spokesman later declined to specify how Mattis had been counselled, other than that neither of the men would be able to sit down for a week, and that "they had to throw out the bong, afterwards."

Mattis will be played by Harrison Ford in the upcoming movie No True Glory, a heartwarming feel-good flick about the April battle for Fallujah.

1 Comments:

At 3/2/05 23:12, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I...am...speechless...!...

 

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