February 10, 2005

Top of the Popes

From Netscape News: Pope 'Cured' of Illness


(Papal spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls, right, talks with two Vatican security officers who look to be about as old as the Pope himself.)

The Vatican announced today that poorly pontiff John Paul II had been miraculously "cured" of the respiratory illness that has plagued him for the last ten days.

"I do deCLAYah!" said Navarro-Valls (no relation to former Red Hot Chili Pepper). "He has been CUE-ahed! Because he BELIEVES! I placed my hand upon his head and I PRAYED to God, I said, 'GOD! CUE-ah this MAN!'. So, you know... he did."

The Pope hopes to return to his Apostolic Palace (TM) later today and rest so that he can be back to full health for the Vatican's annual Easter egg hunt at the end of next month.

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