March 30, 2005

Feeding Frenzy

From BBC News | World | Europe: Doctors give Pope feeding tube

The Vatican has revealed that sickly Pontiff John Paul II is now being fed through a feeding tube inserted in his nose. The tube was inserted late Monday night following a highly secret emergency meeting of Congress, during which a controversial new bill was passed (An Act To Put A Feeding Tube In Someone, Somewhere, Dammit! Out Of My Way!). Shortly afterwards, a crack team of US Navy Seals stormed the Vatican and inserted the tube.

...I feel really sorry for the Pope. He's the leader of the Catholic world and yet is being treated like a baby. He can't feed himself, is forced to wear ridiculous outfits, gets applauded for doing the most insignificant of things ("Oh, look everyone! He's making the sign of the Cross! Awwwww!"), and is constantly being asked to speak even though he's clearly not capable of it at this point in his life ("Come on, Pope! Can you bless everyone? Can you? Who's a good Pope? Come on, let's bless the crowds!"). Give the guy some dignity!

Seriously, though. Give him a break. Are people really so insecure that they need to constantly see the Pope to make sure he's still alive? If they hadn't been wheeling him out onto that damn balcony every other day he'd probably be recovering much quicker.



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