April 12, 2005

Eighths of a Dollar, Twentieths of a Pound

I keep a folder in my bookmarks bar of things I think would make for good blog material-- but a lot of times I can't quite work out how to use them and they just sit there, forlorn, and gathering eDust.

Like, for instance, this story about the potentially hazardous effects of soy on men.

Over a period of fifteen months, researchers administered high levels of soy isoflavones to male monkeys, who subsequently showed far higher frequencies of "intense agressive [behaviour]".

Frankly, I don't find it very surprising. I don't imagine I'd be able to eat nothing but soy for fifteen months without beginning to feel at least a little aggressive.

Next, a story from Texas, where local congressman Al Edwards has proposed legislation to ban "sexy cheerleading". Well, gee, that seems like a good idea-- no wonder Edwards has the support of local cheerleading association, the Austin Cheer Factory. I mean, the objectification of women is bad; we want women to feel like real people with rights and independence, right?

"It would give parents a better feeling, mostly dads and boyfriends, too," said ACF owner, J.M. Farias.

Oh. Right. I forgot that men are the most important consideration in anything that ever happens, anywhere.

Finally (speaking of right-wing values), the BBC reported in January on US military plans to build a "gay bomb". The "distasteful but completely non-lethal" plan involved developing an aphrodisiac chemical that could be released among enemy troops, causing them to become "sexually irresistible" to each other and to begin having so much homosexual sex as to be completely incapable of fighting.

To prevent the aphrodisiac from affecting US troops by accident, the military proposed feeding them nothing but soy for fifteen months.

And that's all until Friday.


At 13/4/05 19:40, Anonymous alice said...

When they make this aphrodisiac, they should totally market it as "gay bomb" cologne. Though it might be terrible if it fell into the wrong hands. You could never go to Crescent street again! Oh, wait, I wasn't going to anyway.

At 4/5/05 10:35, Blogger Confused as usual said...

Can I possibly be the first to suggest feeding the sexy cheerleaders soy isoflavones for a few months, setting the 'gay bomb' off amongst them and filming the results? This has the advantage of linking all your fragments by means of a single narrative thread, plus you could sell the resulting film for lots of money! Or you could try the same experiment on the British Parliament to see if that would make it more interesting. Sorry if you find these comments to be morally reprehensible in any way.


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