May 26, 2005

Happy Bob Day!

According to Free-Egreetings.Net, today is Bob Day! Bob Day, as I'm sure you all know, is a traditional holiday for celebrating "the person who is the ultimate ok guy according to you".

Now, lest any cynical readers protest that this is just a transparent attempt by evil capitalist profit mongers to create new sources of revenue, I think you should take a look at the masses of other entirely legitimate holidays that Free-Egreetings promotes.

For instance, a week from tomorrow (June 3rd) is Egg Day, followed in short order by Cheese Day (June 4th). In fact, that whole weekend there is officially known as Omelette Weekend.

Unfortunately, I was out of the country on May 17th, so I missed out on celebrating Rubber Band Day, which commemorates the date on which the rubber band was first patented. Before that, bundles of toothpicks were just a crazy, unattainable dream.

I also missed out on Plant Something Day (May 19th), which may seem trivial but is vital if you want to enjoy Pick Strawberries Day on May 20th.

Happily, it'll be Love Conquers All Day on June 3rd (WHOA! The same day as Egg Day!), and if that doesn't work out, there's still time for Profess Your Love Day on June 9th (which is also Cuddle Up Day, if all goes as planned), and Sneak a Kiss Day on June 15th. The point is, by the end of June, you're bound to have had some action.

In addition, I appreciate that July 1st, in addition to being Canada Day, is also, apparently, 'International Joke Day'. Take that, Canada!

Finally, make sure to mark your calendars for July 14th-- not because it's Bastille Day (those French, freedom-hating bastards), but because it's Cow Appreciation Day! And if your cows seem a little too self-absorbed and ungrateful for all the attention, fear not! Two weeks later (July 28th) is Hamburger Day!

Now, I'm off to celebrate Bob Day with a commemorative float in the St Lawrence.

4 Comments:

At 27/5/05 06:56, Blogger Confused as usual said...

I can't believe I missed Bob day. Apologies all round.

 
At 30/5/05 11:17, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't believe I missed Bob Day, either. After all, he's my uncle. Abject nepotic apologies.

Non Illegitimis Carborundum

 
At 30/5/05 11:30, Anonymous Non Illegitimis Carborundum said...

. . . and now we learn that he's hotscot's paternal unit to boot! This is getting incestuous.

No wonder the nyt is worried. Remember that in the McCarthy era male State Department employees were seen in the cafeteria nervously eating their dessert bananas with a knife and fork? Quis custodiet ipsos custodies? Semper ubi sub ubi! Verbum sapienti sat.

Non Illegitimis Carborundum

 
At 30/5/05 11:47, Anonymous Non Illegitimis Carborundum said...

That Jennifer 8 woman has got me completely rattled. It's "custodes", not "custodies", stupid. And I have the nerve to criticize hotscot's English word-formation: quelle hubris!

 

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