May 31, 2005

I Wish He'd Just Geld Off

From BBC NEWS | Scotland: 'Head for Edinburgh' Geldof urges

In what can only be called an enormous abuse of power, Bob Geldof has urged one million people to descend upon the bonnie wee town of Edinburgh in July, for an "anti-poverty party".

Say, here's an idea: why not take all the money you'd spend organizing, throwing, and getting people to this so-called anti-poverty party, AND GIVE IT TO POOR PEOPLE!!!! That way, you'll actually be DOING something about poverty, and you won't be foisting one million people on a small city that is ill-equipped to handle it.

Oh, no, sorry, Geldof is "confident" that Edinburgh can handle two-and-a-half times its population visiting en masse. It must be that vast knowledge of urban planning and civil engineering that he has.

The protest is planned to coincide, roughly, with the G8 summit in Gleneagles. Said Geldof: "Scotland is a little miffed that this is happening on their own doorstep and they are not invited."

Actually, I'm a little miffed that some washed-up Irish new-waver has decided to act as a spokesperson for Scotland. GO AWAY, GELDOF! We don't want you or your million chums clogging up our infrastructure. I think this quote puts it most succinctly:

"Now there has been talk of up to a million people coming to Edinburgh but frankly it is difficult to conceive how they could all get to this area in the first place and where they could assemble in safety."

But, nah, don't worry! Geldof says it'll be okay!

The person behind the above voice of reason, incidentally, is none other than Ass Chief Constable Ian Dickinson. Yes, that's right-- the Ass Chief. And if you don't believe me, look at this screenshot:

I know 'Ass' is meant to be short for 'Assistant', but come on, chaps: let's have some punctuation!

Oh dear, I seem to have strayed a little off topic. My point: please ignore Bob Geldof. The only reason anyone should come to Edinburgh on July the 6th is if they plan to buy me lunch. Thank you.


At 1/6/05 13:39, Anonymous alice said...

Geldof was at the top of the CelebDAQ all yesterday on this news, with a market share of £3.02. He's still on the upswing, but his growth has slowed to +0.26.

I am spending entirely too much time on CelebDAQ.

At 6/6/05 13:59, Blogger Confused as usual said...

Thanks for this, Andrew. I'd gladly buy you lunch (ok maybe a cheapish lunch, sorry) simply for writing these fine comments which voice my inward sigh at the prospect of the whole thing.

Maybe some of the million people can stay in Bob Geldof's hair.


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