May 21, 2005

A Stroke of Bad Luck

Hi. Hello. I'm meant to be at the beach right now. Or at least sitting by the hotel pool drinking margaritas. Instead I'm in my hotel room, blogging.

See, I went for a walk this morning. Nothing fancy, just twenty minutes down the beach and twenty minutes back. Then I came back to the room to change into appropriate attire for sitting at pool (see above). Then headache and chills started. And nausea. So I crawled into bed and watched The Rundown on HBO. Inexplicably, this caused nausea to subside, but did nothing for fever or headache.

And thus, here I am, suffering from what I presume is mild heatstroke. On my last day in Florida. Boo. Thoughts that have come into my head as I've sat here convalescing:

Is God punishing me for reading Robert Reich's book about why Christian Fundamentalists are bad?

I wonder if the selection of pay-per-view porn here at the Hilton includes 'One Night in Paris'.

How many of these mini muffins could I fit into my mouth?

[Reading ingredients on bottle of Minute Maid Lemonade] What the hell is 'glycerol ester of wood rosin'? And wasn't 'Yellow #5' a Lou Bega song?

What would MacGyver do in my situation?

[Reading room service menu] 'Chunky Chicken Chunks'?

[Reading warning on side of Axe deodorant bottle: 'Not for intimate use'] What? 'Hey, baby. What say you and I light some candles, get a bottle of wine, and start deodorizing stuff?'

Actually, I could really go for some chunky chicken chunks about now.

Damn, I'm bored.



At 21/5/05 18:08, Blogger dustin said...

> How many of these mini muffins could I fit into my mouth?

Please keep us informed.

> What would MacGyver do in my situation?

See above.

At 22/5/05 03:03, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the love of god leave the mini muffins alone! you remember what almost happened to Marc don't you?!
Also, hope you get well soon!

At 22/5/05 03:03, Anonymous Anonymous said...

that was me! (maryam)

At 22/5/05 09:02, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Glycerol esters of resin acids of wood rosins used as food additives in beverages and chewing gum are those prepared from wood rosin that is harvested from the stumps of the longleaf pine (Pinus palustris) and purified to a beverage-grade ester gum. The resin acid composition of wood rosin can vary considerably; however, the main resin acids in ester gum are abietic acids, with smaller contents of dehydroabietic and neoabietic acids; pimaric acids, including isopimaric and sandaracopimaric acids; and alustric acid. The toxicology of glycerol esters of wood rosins harvested from the stumps
of the pine tree is different from that of glycerol esters from tall-oil and gums, which are not used for the preparation of food
additives." Feel better now?

Though my source helpfully notes that a mere 0.4% of a whacking great dose of these esters is absorbed by the gut of a lab rat privileged to have taken it, it is, sadly, silent on the consequences of ingestion by exBostonians with heat-stroke.

Non Illegitimis Carborundum


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