June 04, 2005

Concupisc(i)ence

Today, a whirlwind tour through some of the cutting edge research that's being done in the field of... SEXOLOGY! Sexology, as you probably know, is among the most rigourously scientific of all the -ologies, despite being largely a lay discipline.

A good example of the weightiness of sexology is this study, where researchers used stopwatches to measure "intravaginal ejaculatory latency time", or, in plain English: the time between when a man puts his Buster McThunderstick in a woman's framazama, and when the man gets his cookies.

(With copious thanks to Starma's Adult Humour for the bewildering collection of euphemisms.)

After timing 1600 men and their partners (!!!!), researchers concluded that the average intravaginal ejaculatory latency time was 7.3 minutes. They also concluded that their job is pretty fucking weird.

A slightly less 'hands on' study was carried about by the American Association for Retired Persons, which found that nearly one-third of Americans aged 45 and above ranked their sex lives as "somewhere between 'yawn' and 'bloody awful'," which I think should be a candidate for the most nebulous survey result of the year.

Another survey result that I enjoyed thoroughly was from this study, which states that "virtually every participant . . . male and female, reported having experienced sexual desire." Virtually every participant? [snip!]

According to an article on Netscape, it's possible that these few people who apparently experience no sexual desire are deficient in oxytocin, a hormone that (quote) "encourages us to cuddle". Researchers determined this by measuring the intrabrachial juxtapositionary temporal duration period in a sample of 2,300 puppies, who were then asked to rate the intensity of the cuddle on a scale of 1 to Thursday.

Now, I'm off to bone up on my genital euphemisms.

1 Comments:

At 6/6/05 13:53, Blogger Confused as usual said...

Is a Buster McThunderstick the same as a whangdoodle? Is a framazama the same as a punani? Are the cookies tollhouse cookies? I like those.

 

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