September 15, 2005

Newsic

A brief whip round of the major news stories in the music world, this week...

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Well, how could I fail to mention the most recent Breton to join the global population, Preston Michael Spears Federline? (The name is yet to be officially confirmed by Britney's publicist, and frankly it seems a little too plain vanilla to possibly be true— I think Oxford Circus Spears Federline would be much better.)

The birth was announced on Britney's website late yesterday, which may seem perfectly innocuous if it weren't for the (vehemently denied) rumours that Spears actually gave birth on Sunday. But why would she want to delay the news until today? Surely she's too over the moon at her long-awaited motherhood to do anything so tawdry as timing the announcement of her first child to coincide with, oh, I don't know— the launch of her new perfume?

Oh dear.

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Bob Dylan recently announced a deal with Starbucks, whereby the singer's new CD of re-mastered live recordings will only be available through the coffee chain's stores. In response, a petulant HMV Canada has announced it will no longer be carrying any of Dylan's CDs in its stores. Yes, that will show him:

"Fine! So we can't make money on one of your CDs? Well then, we won't make money on any of them! Take that!"

[the following week:]

"Gee, I wonder why Bob Dylan hasn't called to apologise? Oh well. Fancy a latte?"

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The BBC reports that the Sex Pistols will be added to the Celebrity Walk of Fame in London's Covent Garden, along with big-spectacled actress extraordinaire, Dame Thora Hird. This is probably the only time that Thora Hird and the Sex Pistols will ever appear on the same list, ever. Unless the Sex Pistols start advertising Stenna stair lifts.

(Whoa! British pop culture reference! Big up to the Countdown-watching crowd!)

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Finally, the news that Paul McCartney's hot young midlife crisis— ahem, sorry; "wife"— has created quite a scene at the offices of J-Lo's fashion firm in New York. Heather Mills McCartney stormed into Sweetface's office, held a press conference, and then tussled with security.

Mills McCartney explained that she "just want[s] to raise awareness about the skinning alive of all the animals in China."

Um, Heather? I think the phrase is 'all the tea in China.'

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