October 06, 2005

English How She Is Writ

Despite my best efforts (taking a leave of absence, formally withdrawing, etc.), Emerson College continues to keep me on their mailing list for campus goings-on. Consequently, I often receive messages from William McCabe, a stalwart Bostonian who is Chief of Campus Security, and an absolutely master of nonsensical police-speak. Like this message I received the other week:

"As the crowd was leaving the club in the vicinity, a person opened fire with a firearm and hit two other persons.

A Boston Police Officer on duty in the vicinity responded and shot the perpetrator.

The two victims have been hospitalized. It is believed that the perpetrator has deceased."

Quite apart from my disgust in the de facto death penalty inflicted upon the shooter, I nonetheless had a giggle at the idea of somebody 'deceasing' (it is a verb, but an archaic one). What next? Were the people who were shot victimming at the time? Were they saved from certain deathation? Cruelly gunned down in the midst of a long and happy be?


Since I'm going to be in New York sans laptop tomorrow, and since next week is the official one-year anniversary of the first Conversations With Greatness, I'm holding back this week's strip until next Friday, at which point there will be a super-celebratory extravaganza. Bait your breath!


At 6/10/05 17:05, Blogger extraspecialbitter said...

this is especially priceless if one imagines Mr. McCabe speaking in a thick New England accent. think "perpetrator".

apropos of nothing, this reminds me of a scene in Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, in which Cranly makes the introduction "this is Stephen Dedalus, whose mother is beastly dead".


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