October 20, 2005

Vacuous Reporting Strikes Again

From Netscape Celebrity:

"Say good-bye to the metrosexual."

Oh NO!

"While he was busy exfoliating and primping in the bathroom mirror, someone else took his place in the female psyche. That someone is an übersexual."

From the German "über", meaning 'over'; as in, 'That guy just came all over me.' No?

"An übersexual is a man who embraces the positive aspects of his masculinity or "M-ness"— confidence, leadership, passion, compassion— without giving in to the stereotypes that give guys a bad name, such as disrespect toward women . . . Übersexuals are the most attractive, most dynamic and most compelling men of their generations."

Hmmm, say, I'm having some trouble conceptualising exactly what you mean, here; could you maybe give me some examples?

"The world's top 10 übersexuals:

1. Bono"

I'm sorry, Bono is the most attractive and compelling man of his generation? Somebody's been wearing their rose-tinted glasses a little to much, methinks...

No, seriously. Bono wears those glasses too much.

"2. George Clooney
3. Bill Clinton"

Ha! I knew it! A man who comes all over you!

"4. Donald Trump"

In this case, I think the 'über' in 'übersexual' means 'over the hill'.

"5. Arnold Schwarzenegger"

What?! Are you just saying any name that pops into your head? How does Arnold Schwarzenegger not live up to negative stereotypes of men? HE GROPES WOMEN!

"6. Barack Obama"

The guy from Mortal Kombat?

"7. Ewan McGregor
8. Pierce Brosnan"

Pierce Brosnan is particularly high in "M-ness" because of his role as James Bond alongside 'M', played by Judi Dench.

"9. Guy Ritchie
10. Jon Stewart"

I agree, perhaps, that Jon Stewart is a dynamic and compelling member of his generation; but I think describing him as über-anything is a little inaccurate considering how short he is.

By the way, do you think the opposite of an übersexual is a goobersexual?


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