November 23, 2005

He Helped Kerry The Verdict

From Netscape News: John Kerry Elected ... Jury Foreman

The Associated Press reports that John Kerry was recently selected for jury duty in Suffolk county, Massachusetts, which, among other things, means that John Kerry is totally biting my style.

[Digression: I loved my Boston jury duty experience for one reason, and one reason only: they show you an educational video when you get there about the civic importance of jury duty, starring none other than the Chief Justice of the Massachusetts Supreme Court, Margaret H. Marshall. Justice Marshall has trouble pronouncing her 'R's, which is a pretty unfortunate speech impediment to have when you have to use the phrase "Evewy Amewican is guawanteed the wight to twial by juwy" on a regular basis. Yes, I am immature, but you try sitting in a courthouse for five hours.]

Not only was Kerry selected to serve on a jury, he was even elected foreman-- and, according to the AP, "his fellow jurors
said the state's junior senator was a natural leader."

Kerry acknowledged the not insignificant irony of the situation by smacking the other jurors in the face with a flip-flop.

" 'I just found him to be a knowledgeable, normal person,' said Cynthia Lovell, a nurse and registered Republican who says she now regrets voting for President Bush in last year's election."

Whoa, wait, there's a registered Republican in Massachusetts?

I just thought of a pun:

Q. What food is constitutionally guaranteed to all citizens of the United States?
A. Soup de jure!


At 24/11/05 00:04, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think what you mean is, "I got tired of the de facto soup so I tried the soup de jure."


At 24/11/05 16:04, Anonymous Mariana said...

The U.S. Senate must serve bean soup in its cafeteria every day.

THe only article I could find

At 24/11/05 16:26, Blogger Andrew said...

Chris: Thank you, that is what I meant!

Mariana: No, no, in the Senate they only serve Soup of the Freedom.


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