November 28, 2005

Let Me Present For You...

...The top ten reasons I hate student presentations.

10. When the professor says something like, "All presentations must be limited to five minutes," what he/she really means is, "Please, talk for as long as you like, and I won't interrupt except occasionally to suggest that perhaps you should start wrapping up sometime soon."

9. People who think that, "And I was like, okay, whatever!" is a valid critique of an established theory.

8. People who spend hours putting together a flashy PowerPoint presentation and then 'present' it by simply reading from the slides.

7. When people say, "Oh, jeez, sorry, I've gone way over time, haven't I?", they really mean, "Let me conclude by rambling for a further ten minutes." (Each successive time that a person says this during one presentation exponentially increases how irritating it is.)

6. People who expect you to sit through their ten minute presentation, and then skip out of class without listening to anybody else's.

5. Students who have been taught that extemporaneous presentations are the best, and so come in with no notes and blether without any structure or coherence for ten minutes.

4. Students who think that, "A brief summary of your research," means, "A detailed play-by-play of every sentence you used in your twenty page research paper."

3. Professors who think to themselves, "Now, class lasts two hours, so I guess I should schedule five thirty-minute presentations and a ten minute break after the first hour."

2. Speakers who are unfairly judgmental.

And, of course...

1. Speakers who are ugly.

(Obviously, that last one is a joke. Really, I hate anyone who's ugly.)

(Obviously, that was also a joke. Ugly people are okay by me!)

(Obviously, that was also a joke. Physical appearance shouldn't be used as a grounds for social categorization.)

(Obviously, that wasn't a joke. And see how much worse it sounds not to end on a laugh?)

(A laugh.)

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