November 10, 2005

You've Heard of 'Must-See TV'...

Seen— where else?— on Netscape:

"Must-have sex"... I sure hope they're not talking about rape.

[Edit: Wow, that was pretty offensive, even by my standards.]

[Edit: I just realised that my thesaurus lists 'rape' as a synonym for 'have sex with'. How appalling is that?!]

Actually, they're not taking about rape, and by 'they', I mean Laura Snyder, who writes pretty much all of the sex articles I end up making fun of, here. I often find myself wondering what kind of sex life she has ("Honey, there are seven things you could be doing better"), if, indeed, she has time for one in between all her prurient list-making.

A smattering of must-have sex:

"Must-Have Sex #2: Surprise Sex
While five hours of passionate lovemaking can be lovely, sometimes five minutes of super-hot sex is what really satisfies your cravings. Blindside your baby when they least expect it."

You know, just rugby tackle them to the ground as they're going into a job interview, something like that.

"Must-Have Sex #5: Sleepy Sex
. . . An incredible - if not quite conscious - experience."

Incidentally, you can combine this with the above suggestion, if you rugby tackle them hard enough.

"Must-Have Sex #6: Make Up Sex
. . . Sometimes it's worth just picking a fight for it."

Wow, these actually all involve rugby tackling.

"Must-Have Sex #8: Rough and Tumble Sex
Giving - or getting - some tough love . . . is a surefire sexual fire starter."

I mean, seriously. I never realised the untapped sexual potential of rugby.

Kind of makes you wonder about rugby players, doesn't it?


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