December 29, 2005

Things At Which Horses Chomp And Something A Man With No Arms Does In A Swimming Pool

I am getting really frustrated with the damn internet here. For some reason my connection just keeps deciding, for no apparent reason, to not talk to a number of different servers chosen at random, despite functioning normally in general. So, for instance, I'll be able to check my mail but not load Sillytech; then I'll reboot my router, and I'll be able to read Sillytech but Blogger will hang indefinitely; so I'll reboot again and Blogger will work but MSN conks out.

I mean, my God, is my life the most unbearable series of tribulations you've ever heard, or what?

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My new favourite album is Roìsìn Murphy's Ruby Blue. I bought it on Monday and have listened to it three or four times a day since then. It is ridiculously good. Go buy it. Not download it, Ken, Alice; BUY it!

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I've started doing research for my honours thesis, the topic for which is gender and humour. The drawback of doing an academic study on humour is that you have to suffer through a lot of self-indulgent semantic nonsense about discourse and reality. But, on the upside, you do get to read a lot of jokes:

Three women are sitting in a bar talking about men.

"My man," says the first woman, "Is like a scotch on the rocks. He's smooth and cool, and when he gets inside of me it gives me a real kick that lays me flat."

"Well," says the second woman. "My man is more like a bottle of white wine. I always enjoy him slowly and savour every moment, and once he's all inside of me I'm out of my mind with ecstasy."

"And my man," says the third woman, without any explanation, "Is like Green Chartreuse."

"What's Green Chartreuse?" say the other two.

"Oh," replies the third. "Some fancy liquor."

Hey-oh!

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The most entertaining news of the week, for me, is that Evan Bindelglass has added Alison as a friend on the Facebook. Evan was my roommate my freshman year of college, and was, is, and shall forever be something of an Emerson College legend. Evan is a very Jewish boy who wears khaki shorts three-hundred and fifty days out of the year, enjoys graphic design, and insists upon telling people he is from New York, when in fact he is from North Bergen county in New Jersey. His heroes are Elie Wiesel, Harry S Truman, and Aaron Sorkin, the creator of The West Wing (which Evan watched, without fail and with the phone off the hook, every week).

I am quite sure that Evan is the sort of person who Googles himself frequently, and with a name like that he only gets about 80 hits-- so I will refrain from mentioning any of his less, uh, endearing habits. Suffice to say, the nights I spent working in the dark at my computer while Evan fell asleep to C-Span are forever etched into my memory, and I was very glad to hear that he is now working at WCBS, which he described to Alison as "New York's flagship radio station".

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Now, what artery-clogging food should I have for lunch today? Pizza, or fish and chips?

2 Comments:

At 29/12/05 10:21, Anonymous Anonymous said...

- Uh, "bit-drown"? "Hay-tread"? Oh, oh, now I get it! (At first, I thought it was a hinky pinky)

-Dye!

 
At 31/12/05 07:30, Anonymous dustin said...

Are you on Bell sympatico? They have DNS problems that they lie about. Going into my router and changing the DNS servers to be 4.2.2.1, 4.2.2.2, 4.2.2.3 solved similar problems for me (those are verisign DNS servers or something).

More details at:
http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,14103059

 

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