February 02, 2006

Countless Stupid Ignoramuses

From Netscape News: TV Crime Shows Aiding Real Life Murderers

Apparently, murderers these days are getting smarter. No longer need they rely only on portly Belgians and bridge-playing retirees for their knowledge of forensic police work— now they can get all the helpful, evidence-destroying hints they need from CSI. Or, at least, so says Tammy Klein, senior criminalist for the LAPD, and "other experts".

A man charged in a recent double-homicide in northeast Ohio was a "CSI'' fan and went to great lengths to cover his tracks, according to an affidavit filed by Trumbull County prosecutors.

Jermaine "Maniac'' McKinney, 25, allegedly broke into a house, killed a mother and daughter and used bleach to remove their blood from his hands, prosecutors said.

Do you think he was given that nickname before or after the crime?

"Hey, me and they guys are going for a few beers; you wanna come, Maniac?"
"Oh, no thanks Bob, I'm off to bludgeon a mother and daughter to death."
[Chuckling to himself] "Oh, that Maniac. What a crazy guy."

"He tried to throw some evidence into a lake, including a crowbar used to bludgeon one of the victims. The lake was frozen though and he shouted a profanity when the crowbar remained on the surface, according to the affidavit."

Okay, so, these "more sophisticated" criminals that everyone is so worried about can't even tell the difference between a frozen lake and a not frozen lake?

But, my favourite part of the whole article:

"Klein said most crimes aren't well planned . . . 'For the most part, our killings involve gang bangers who for the most part are pretty stupid,' she said."

"Now," added Klein, "I'm off to impartially evaluate some evidence."


At 3/2/06 00:45, Blogger Gil said...

"For the most part, our killings involve gang bangers..."

Andrew, are you harboring a murderer in your apartment?

I think Adrienne is going to great lengths to cover up her gang-banging ways.

...C'mon. How could you not make that joke?

At 3/2/06 01:08, Blogger Andrew said...

Oh my God, I am so embarrassed. How could I miss such an obvious opportunity to ridicule Adrienne? I would wait until the next chance came along, but unfortunately I am not as patient as some of the other people she knows.


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