February 02, 2006

Countless Stupid Ignoramuses

From Netscape News: TV Crime Shows Aiding Real Life Murderers

Apparently, murderers these days are getting smarter. No longer need they rely only on portly Belgians and bridge-playing retirees for their knowledge of forensic police work— now they can get all the helpful, evidence-destroying hints they need from CSI. Or, at least, so says Tammy Klein, senior criminalist for the LAPD, and "other experts".

A man charged in a recent double-homicide in northeast Ohio was a "CSI'' fan and went to great lengths to cover his tracks, according to an affidavit filed by Trumbull County prosecutors.

Jermaine "Maniac'' McKinney, 25, allegedly broke into a house, killed a mother and daughter and used bleach to remove their blood from his hands, prosecutors said.
"

Do you think he was given that nickname before or after the crime?

"Hey, me and they guys are going for a few beers; you wanna come, Maniac?"
"Oh, no thanks Bob, I'm off to bludgeon a mother and daughter to death."
[Chuckling to himself] "Oh, that Maniac. What a crazy guy."

"He tried to throw some evidence into a lake, including a crowbar used to bludgeon one of the victims. The lake was frozen though and he shouted a profanity when the crowbar remained on the surface, according to the affidavit."

Okay, so, these "more sophisticated" criminals that everyone is so worried about can't even tell the difference between a frozen lake and a not frozen lake?

But, my favourite part of the whole article:

"Klein said most crimes aren't well planned . . . 'For the most part, our killings involve gang bangers who for the most part are pretty stupid,' she said."

"Now," added Klein, "I'm off to impartially evaluate some evidence."

2 Comments:

At 3/2/06 00:45, Blogger Gil said...

"For the most part, our killings involve gang bangers..."

Andrew, are you harboring a murderer in your apartment?

I think Adrienne is going to great lengths to cover up her gang-banging ways.

...C'mon. How could you not make that joke?

 
At 3/2/06 01:08, Blogger Andrew said...

Oh my God, I am so embarrassed. How could I miss such an obvious opportunity to ridicule Adrienne? I would wait until the next chance came along, but unfortunately I am not as patient as some of the other people she knows.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home