February 07, 2006

Department of LOLing

From The Toronto Star: Judge irks court with Super cheerleading

Man, am I glad I started subscribing to the AP RSS feed!

"TACOMA, Wash. . . . As Judge Beverly G. Grant took the bench Friday, she asked everyone in court to say "Go Seahawks." Dissatisfied with the low volume of the response, she told them to try again.

Only then did she hear statements from prosecutors, defence lawyers and relatives of the slain Tino Patricelli, as well as an apology from defendant Steve Keo Teang, before re-sentencing Teang to 13 1/2 years in prison."

After issuing the sentence, Judge Grant proceeded to lift up her robes, revealing a giant seahawk painted on her bosom.

Deputy Prosecutor Sunny Y Ko was unimpressed, saying: "One family is seeing a son go off to prison, and one family is here to find justice for their loved one who was murdered. It's important to them. Do you think they want to root for the Seahawks?" Ko added: "I mean, this is clearly the Steelers' year." He then dropped his pants to reveal a giant steel worker tattooed on his butt.

Grant insists she never meant to offend anyone, and initiated the chant merely as a way to "release tension" in the courtroom. Grant furthermore claims that it is "trite" for anyone to have taken offence at her statement. "Oh, for Pete's sake, what is with all these people taking manslaughter trials seriously, all of a sudden?!" she said. "I certainly don't!"

On a side note, I find the justification for Teang's re-sentencing to be kind of, uh, vacuous. According to the article, he had originally pleaded guilty to manslaughter and was sentenced to 16 years and 4 months in prison. But his family complained that they were not able to attend his initial sentencing because the courtroom had been too small-- so Grant agreed to reconsider the sentence and lessened it to 13 years and 6 months!

What the hell?! Since when does the size of the courtroom have anything to do with the severity of the sentence? If I ever end up going to trial for anything, I am going to insist that my sentencing be carried out in the Houston Astrodome-- by this logic I they will only be able to give me a few weeks.


At 7/2/06 18:42, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"If I ever end up going to trial for anything"

Guilty conscience?

At 7/2/06 22:35, Blogger Andrew said...

Why, what have you heard? WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!


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