February 14, 2006

You're Meant To Do It With Your Car?

From Netscape Love: 8 Ways for Singles to Beat the Valentine's Day Blues

"So you don't have a date for Valentine's Day? No worries. February 14th is nothing but another way for card companies to rake in more money. But we have a feeling that when the clock strikes 6pm, and you're sitting in your apartment, alone, knowing this won't make you feel much better."

The creepy thing is, I did actually read this while sitting in my apartment alone at 6pm, and, they were right! It didn't make me feel any better. But then, the only reason I was feeling bad was my tenacious cold, and I don't think that's really what they meant.

Anyway, seven of the eight suggestions are fairly innocuous: go to the movies, go to a bar, go clubbing, that sort of thing. But, for your pleasure, I present suggestion number six in its entirety:

"Plan an auto erotic night. You don't need someone else to physically gratify yourself. Afterwards, you won't have to talk or share a cigarette."

!!!!!!!

That's their advice for beating the Valentine's Day blues? To have a wank?! How will that make you feel any less sad and pathetic when you're sitting in your apartment by yourself at 6pm?!

I'd rather have a cup of tea.

3 Comments:

At 14/2/06 20:50, Anonymous Marc said...

Why not have both?

 
At 14/2/06 21:08, Blogger Andrew said...

Um, scalding?

 
At 15/2/06 00:26, Anonymous Stretch said...

Ah, now i know why you British are always having "tea".

 

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