April 26, 2006

Prescaught In The Act

From BBC NEWS | Politics: Prescott admits to having affair

"Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott [aged 67] has confessed to having had an affair with one of his secretaries.

The MP for Hull East said he regretted the relationship with Tracey Temple, 43 [!!!!], which had ended 'some time ago'."

Gross. Gross gross gross. As if the mental image of John Prescott having sex wasn't disturbing enough already, it was with someone a quarter of a century his junior?

In a statement, Prescott said (for real, this isn't one of my editorial fictionalisations): "I have discussed this fully with my wife Pauline who is devastated."

Okay, now for the editorial fictionalisation: "Hooooo-boy, is she devastated! I haven't seen so much weeping since the last time someone had a mental image of me having sex. It was rough, I tells ya."

Prescott, of course, is most famous for his unconventional campaign tactics in the run-up to the 2001 general election, during which he responded to an egg being thrown at him by leaping into the crowd with a "mad glint" in his eye and punching the culprit in the face.

I really love it when the line between my editorial fictionalisations and reality becomes this blurred. To wit, please enjoy this quiz I made (I just gave you the first answer for free!).


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