June 20, 2006

{Insert 'Hard Drive' Pun Here}

From WebMD: Virtual Sex: Threat to Real Intimacy?

"As convenient as the drive-up window at your favorite fast-food restaurant, online sex requires little effort short of booting up and logging on. With its easy access comes an increasing number of people who are banging away at their computers for some electronic satisfaction."

Gross, literally?

"A survey of Canadian college students found that 87% of more than 2,500 respondents 'fessed up to technology-assisted sex via tools like instant message, webcams, and text message."

Wow, 87%, that's a lot. That would be pretty impressive if the sample wasn't grossly self-selecting: the survey was posted on a dating website and filled in voluntarily by users of that website! I think that might bias the results just A LITTLE, don't you?

Nevertheless, "study leader" Noah Gurza weighs in on the highly significant results:

"Eighty-seven percent having had virtual sex was astonishing to us, but upon reflection it is very much a testament to the demographic we are dealing with."

Yes, it certainly is a shocker that the using-the-internet-to-find-relationships demographic also uses the internet for sex. I bet some of them even have compumatators. I mean, Jesus, are these people brain-damaged? This whole thing is completely ungeneralisable.

But that didn't stop WebMD from bothering two therapists for their opinions on the 'findings', including Louanne Cole Weston, PhD and certified sex therapist, who explains the appeal of online sex:

"[It] provides a good option to people who are not as sexually desirable because of their physical appearance . . . Now, people who were disenfranchised by virtue of their appearance have an outlet to be sexually active in a nondiscriminating marketplace."

Weston continued: "Do you hear me, ugmos? I don't want to see any of you hanging around my local singles bar anymore. Go bang your computers."

Jenn Berman, PhD, on the other hand, is less enthusiastic about online sex, which she says can quickly create intimacy issues in peoples' lives:

"Anytime you prefer to have online sex to actual human company -- a friend calls you up and asks you to dinner and you choose not to go because you'd rather engage in online sex -- that's when you're headed for trouble."

Seriously, I mean, everybody needs to eat. You should go out for dinner and then engage in online sex.

Sigh. Why is sexology a thing?


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