July 20, 2006

Making A Mochrie Of Summer Employment

I rented a car today to facilitate the running of many dull and (almost literally) back-breaking errands today. And as I was casually driving past the intersection of de Maisonneuve and University, who did I see waiting to cross? Colin effing Mochrie! It was watching him on British Whose Line all those years ago that made me want to do improv myself, so as you can imagine I would tear off my own arm for the chance to meet him and make a starstruck ass out of myself. But obviously, since I was driving by him at 30km/h in the middle of afternoon traffic, I couldn't exactly stop and say hi. It figures that the one day I'm getting around Montreal by car instead of by foot, is the one day when I see a celebrity I would like to meet on the street.

Oh well. What's he really done lately that's worth talking about, anyway?

On a completely different topic, the professor who I've been working for this summer has conveniently stopped answering my (repeated) emails in the last two weeks. Funny how the mention of my needing to be paid seems to have instantly cured him of his compulsive, twenty-times-a-day email checking.

I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt, so I am hoping he will get in touch with me tomorrow. But if not, this is my plan:

If I don't hear from him within one week: I will copy all of our correspondence, including a scanned copy of the letter of employment he gave me so I could get a Social Insurance number, to the Sociology Department Chair.

If I don't hear from him within a further two weeks: a massive Google-bombing campaign to ensure that Googling him brings up a page, created by me, detailing his unethical research practices.

If I don't hear from him within one week of the start of the academic year: Suffice to say, I will be really furious if he ignores me for this long. So he'll get one last email, in which I implore him to pay me, or else I will send formal letters of complaint to the Sociology Department, the Dean of Students, and the Principal. I will also tell him of my intent to write letters to American Sociological Review and the American Journal of Sociology, in which I will suggest that, perhaps, someone who treats his research assistants so poorly does not deserve to have his research published (I doubt this will have much real effect, but it will make me feel better). He will have one more week to reply, otherwise, KABLAMMO, those letters get sent.

Hell hath no fury like a vindictive blogger scorned.

But, I mean, seriously, this is bullshit, right? I know he's in town, because I talked to his wife on Monday. And he is so computer-obsessed that there is no way he would have gone two weeks without checking his e-mail. So really, there is no other explanation except that he is purposefully ignoring me. GRR!


At 20/7/06 18:23, Blogger Sean said...

whoa, that's pretty heavy, andrew. good luck getting the $.

At 21/7/06 08:19, Blogger Andrew said...

Thanks... See you soon!

At 21/7/06 09:52, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No worries Andrew, just gimme his address. i'll pay him a "little" "friendly" "visit".
You will have your money whithin 12 hours.


At 21/7/06 14:15, Anonymous Mariana said...

Send him an e-mail saying you're going to talk to the chair in a week.

And get Maryam to visit him after you get the money. No jury can prove a motive of vindictiveness.

Good luck also.

At 21/7/06 14:16, Anonymous Mariana said...

Also, COLIN MOCHRIE!!!!!!!! I guess he's in town for Just for Laughs.

At 22/7/06 04:44, Anonymous R said...

If you put me in touch with Maryam I can help with the friendly visit.

I think you time limits are too generous


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