July 24, 2006

Want A Raisin? How About An Update?

I have now been "living" (snicker) in Britain for two-and-a-half days. Mostly I've spent it in a boozy, jetlagged daze, and doing much the same things that I always do when I'm home: Fopp (my default music store), Assembly (my default bar), and running into people from high school without any effort whatsoever.

I've also upgraded my mobile phone to a contract, thus bagging myself a free Razr, and found out more about my Fringe job: I'll be working at the venue's main box office (a huge relief, as I was afraid I would be stuck out at one of the quieter, satellite box offices), and my co-assistant manger will be named...

Tom R. Jones!

Tom Jones! Now, you might think that's a bit of a coincidence, but, in fact, it's not unusual.

He is going to hate me by the end of the month. I have already planned out a good week's worth of Tom Jones gags (instead of "good morning": "What's new, pussycat"?; instead of "Gosh, it's busy today": "My, my, my... De-line-up!"; I'm also considering investing in some women's underwear to throw at him when he walks through the door).

I start tomorrow morning, and am going to spend the week assembling, cleaning, and painting the venue (until Sunday, when my underlings arrive and I will get them to do it all for me).

On Saturday, my mum's throwing me a welcome back party, which she has very poshly decided to get catered by the neighbourhood's Thai restaurant. She even sent out actual invitations to people, which rather embarrassingly say something like:

"Please join us in celebrating the return of Andrew Ladd (B.A., McGill)."

Embarrassing, because, um, hello? I have a B.A. Hons. Jeez.


At 24/7/06 22:31, Anonymous Mariana said...

If the restaurant doesn't carve the chicken satay into the shapes 3.95, refuse to pay.


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